Wings
Recently, my husband and I were watching a psychological thriller on Netflix about a boy, his parents, and a puppet, that caused our minds to race in all kinds of directions. Both viewers (and characters in the show) were left to jump to conclusions, wondering if the outcome would be good or bad, sometimes even wondering what the heck was actually going on. The twists and turns drew us in and left us wanting to know what would happen even among moments of confusion and discomfort.
Without giving too much away, the story is about parents searching for their son who goes missing (trigger warning for parents!). I watched the mom in particular have spiraling thoughts that I would imagine any of us might have if we were in the same situation.
As we learned more about each character, we started to understand a little bit more about their actions and thought processes, even going as far as sympathizing with their experience or thinking like they were (or so we thought) based on the storyline.
As someone in the mental performance space, who knows how to and actively practices thought control, I too caught myself going down the negative thoughts rabbit hole…
What if it’s not okay!
What if they’re not safe!
What if they don’t come home!
What if something bad happened!
While the show did its job - it psychologically thrilled us - one line stood to me and has ever since I watched it.
“It doesn’t take much to give our negative thoughts wings.”
This line hit me…it was so simple, yet so powerful. It spoke perfectly to challenges myself and my clients face on a daily basis. When we have negative thoughts, now matter the subject or the cause, they have the ability to take off, and often do! We let them fester, making us think they are real, and as a result we give them wings! Before we know it, there are tons of negative thoughts flying around and taking up space in our minds.
WE HAVE TO TAKE BACK THE POWER!
There’s no rule that says we have to listen to our negative thoughts, believe them, or let them live rent free in our minds. Yet, once they grow wings, it can be hard not to get carried away. The good news is that while it may be hard at times, we CAN regain control over the thoughts we choose to listen to.
I use this example with almost all my clients when we are working on thought stopping and rephrasing. When you are listening to music and a song comes on that you don’t like or don’t want to listen to, what do you do?
You SKIP it!
You don’t listen to music you don’t want to hear. You change the song and find something else. You don’t even think twice about it. You just skip, skip, skip. You can apply this exact same method with thoughts you have that aren’t helpful. SKIP IT. Keep skipping until you find a thought that is more useful, more beneficial, and/or more helpful for you at that moment.
Remember, we all have thousands upon thousands of thoughts a day; some positive, some negative, some neutral. The goal isn’t to stop having thoughts - the goal is to regain control over the thoughts we listen to. It’s much more beneficial to give wings to the thoughts that help us, not the ones that hurt us in some way.
If this article resonated with you, or you find you have lots of unhelpful thoughts flying around in your mind, reach out! I’m here to help and together we can take back the power.
For those curious about the show I referenced, you can check it out here.
